Damn!

Today has been decent, the scale was kind lost I .6.. I've had hamburger 3days in a row now so i've come to believe my body dislikes caramelized onions and not beef like i had originally thought.

It's been hectic around here, finally got the keys to the place downstairs after waiting months..but since it had taken so long and the bf was debating not moving at all i didn't get much packing done and by that i mean i got nothing done >.<.. so been trying to figure that all out while move at the same time..The stairs have been killer. Moving from an upstairs suite to a main floor one has been hard on me. im  scared that my body may think its exercise and go into starvation mode only time will tell..

ive been craving a burger like crazy lately but not any burger..a hawiian burger ive never had one before but all of a sudden im dying to have one..if i can stay outta the city this weekend then i cannot give into the temptation. though a trip to the city would be nice..im wanting to get vanilla flavored stevia.

i missed my doctors appt as well today, and that one was very important was to get my anxiety meds refilled so this next week is gonna be tough..hopefully i can pull through it with no problem. Am scared though which triggers everything.

Ive been thinking alot about my daughter lately, after 5 years i think im ready to get in touch..or i thought i was until i made the call to set the wheels in motion..in retrospect it may have not been a great idea to take on no meds, moving and emotional roller coaster all in the same week :(

but seems as im tired im gonna sign off for the night, ill try to find time tomorrow to update but no promises

signing off
Jenn

P.S. I've been having the craziest dreams lately

And so it begins...

Excited to try something new, i started the Hcg diet on January 3rd 2012 at 252pds..Amazed p2 28 days later i had lost 22.6 pounds..Thats incredible amazing even...what i thought was the best diet i had been on was BBV took me 3 months to lose 42pds...as previous mentioned i gained over half of it back..I've lost that weight and am now looking forward to losing additional weight..my first goal i already completed..(get back to 226 according to old scale, the one i used for BBV)..im still so amazed i know you don't get skinny overnight..but it took me a few months to gain it back..and now its gone.. disappeared and im definitely not gonna find it again :)

My next mini goal is 220 with new scale (im at 229.4 now), 200 (I looked my hottest at this weight) 180 and finally 160..i hope to be 200 by at least my birthday, which i definitely should accomplish long before then as its in April..

I just cant wait, to be a new me..a me I've dreamed of being for a very long time

p.s. im gonna to be backdating a few posts as i feel like sharing.and its my blog so there :P just be aware that there all different thoughts that i come across within the last week and im just posting them now..ill try to mark them as they come..

signing off,
Jenn

An Introduction

My name is Jennifer, but you can call me Jenn...In fact id prefer it if you do :P.

I didn't start out as a large person in fact most of my youth people where shocked i was so thin, worried if my parents feed me, asked about my visible bones, a classmate even approached me offering to help me with my eating disorder (anorexia). I didn't have one. I was just fairly active with a nice metabolism.. At the age of 13 something changed ..i started gaining weight. It started slow at first a few pounds here a few pounds there but not long. A short year later my classmates confused my weight with being pregnant i was teased, and since then the weight has just piled on. I was later diagnosed with hypothyroidism...

In my early 20s i thought i had control. I could maintain my weight around 235 and just recently i ballooned out to my highest weight ever, 280 pds so close to 300 i freaked i had to do something. My life at this time starred  many different fad diets..there was the magic pills, special creams, fancy shakes and odd equipment promising to tone my figure...None of them worked..

 I honestly believe moving saved my life, finding friends and being active managed to bring my wieght down to 267 from there i tried exercise and BBV..I got down to 226 and then from my own stupidity i gained over half of it back..Due to health issues (anxiety) I've been put on a new medication that doesnt allow me to excerise frustrated at not being able to continue with what worked i was forced to rethink the situation. I remembered a close friend having success with this diet and it had intrigued me before but i refused to try it. i couldn't believe myself to be able to keep to the very strict protocol, i just loved food to much..With not many options and a pure desperation to lose the weight i gained and then some, i decided to give it a shot and so far im glad i did.

From here i plan on updating as much as i can, but be warned ive never been to good with journals or blogs before..I'm hoping reading my trials and tribulations you can find comfort, support and quiet possibly the information you need to embark on this journey as well.

Signing off, and hoping to see you again soon.
Jenn